remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
