I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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