its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
