Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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