I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Soap is not a condiment
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
