it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
