pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
In America we eat man semen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
two words: eviction party
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
