:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
