in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
