you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
