"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and she was petting her beer can
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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