PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize