im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
