She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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