im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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