Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
