There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
