Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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