At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
