he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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