the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
