see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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