Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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