looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
