If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
