My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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