He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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