i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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