I wish I could punch you in the face.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
