you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
