I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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