We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
only you would photoshop your dick
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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