i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
