Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
