i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
