just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
