We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
As shirtless as possible
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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