he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
