I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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