Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize