We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
