Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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