8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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