yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
