4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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