I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She's the barista slut.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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