What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize