It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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