Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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