craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
