its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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