Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
