My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
