i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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