And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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