This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
the liver wants what the liver wants
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
