3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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