There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We had to coat check the pizza.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
