i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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