just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I want to have your abortion
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
